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The Writing Demons Nobody Wants To Talk About
by Barry Pearson

Okay, Interior the office of the Head of Network Drama.
We're about to go into production, we're late with the first set of scripts, and we're up on the carpet.

My Executive Producer — Mike, let's call him —sermonizes poetic about what a great series he's created.

While he waves his cigar and praises himself, the Executive-in-Charge of Network Series (a writer himself) glazes over, but doesn't speak, until Mike reaches the exclamatory height of his monologue with the declamation, "When we deliver these episodes, every one of them will be a little masterpiece!"

Then the Executive looks down at the floor, coughs, and says evenly, "But Mike, we're not in the masterpiece business."

True story..

Which invokes the first of several familiar writing demons — a little fiend I call the Long-Time-Writing Demon — the one that plants this insidious mantra in your head: "If I take forever to write this, it'll be a masterpiece."

Uh-uh.

Dante was in the masterpiece business. But most of us are not writing The Inferno. Nor does any buyer of our work want us to.

Examples of the Long Time Writing Demon abound. Remember Michael Douglas as the novelist in Wonder Boys? He rolls a piece of paper into his IBM Selectric and types 2611 (Page 2611).

When the pages grow like manic fungi on your desk, or your MS Word document develops a case of Galloping Kilobytes, you know you're possessed. You need some kind of spell, some incantation, to exorcise this incubus — like, "I categorically refuse to let my screenplay grow beyond 135 formatted pages."

Another recitation that works is, "I will card my story." Try that one a few times, "I will card my story." It could save you from drowning in a sea of words.

Sometimes when the Long Time Writing Demon takes root in your psyche, other spells can work, such as, "I will plan to have my Villain at the height of his powers before my story starts so I don't waste 30 pages showing how he got that way." Or, "I will be sure that my two most important characters, the Hero and the Bonding Character, meet before page 22, so I don't spend forever getting my story in motion."

Let's delve into other species of fiends. There's the Shame On You Demon, the one that causes cramps in our fingers when we veer in the direction of outing aunt Melissa, shocking our Presbyterian parents, using profanity, or committing political or religious heresy.

I confess I've done all of the above, and every time, I almost chickened out. On occasion, I did chicken out — but I'm not glad I did. The Shame On You Demon attacks the very core of the writer's being — the ability to tell it like it is.

But if we believe in our characters, and our ideas, if we're not just showing off or being outrageous to deliberately shock, then we have to suck it up. We have to go with Admiral Farragut, "Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!"

One of the "favorite" demons I encounter as a screenwriting consultant, is the Linus Blanket Demon. This subliminal tempter casts this anodyne to paralyze writers: "If you cling to your great idea in your mind and don't put it on paper, it'll always be wonderful, and you'll never have to face the fact that it might be pure dreck."

I get e-mails from writers in the grip of the Linus Blanket Demon. You can smell desperation in this one:

WRITER: Although I'm a young writer, I know this is what I've wanted to do since I was a kid. The thing is that I'm having trouble getting over the hump of writing my first script. I have so many ideas and themes... but when it comes down to me writing I get so fucking stumped. Heeelllp!

Heart rending.

Here's another one:

WRITER: I have an idea for an original screenplay, but I haven't the slightest idea where to start. I've never written one before, but I have a very active imagination, so I've played out almost the entire film in my head. So, how do I get the idea from my head to paper? Do I just start typing? I'm sure there must be a specific formula.

BARRY: You do have to "just start typing," but be prepared for some frustration and surprise when you attempt to put on paper the great ideas you have in your mind. They won't look as great on paper (or the screen) as they did inside your head. Writing in your mind is like trying to play tennis with no partner and the net down.

Does screenwriting mean I have to write ALL the dialogue as well? Dialogue? Yes, you have to write it. Every word that actors speak in a movie (with minor exceptions) is in the script.

And another:

WRITER: I have had this idea roaming around in my head for almost two years now. I want to write a play but I can not get these thoughts out of my head and onto my computer screen.

BARRY: It's a shame you let that good idea roam around in your head for two whole years when you could have been writing it — you'd be finished by now.

Here's what I suggested so that the writer could banish the Linus Blanket Demon:

Understand the Elements of Your Writing Process

The following five techniques will help to lure your basic story idea from its hiding place in your head.

Trap the idea:

Many writers use 3" X 5" file cards to capture their story ideas. They stick the cards on the wall, wrap elastic bands around them, staple them to other cards, color them with markers, shuffle them, number them, bend, spindle, and mutilate them. Skewer them on bulletin boards with colored pins, scatter them on the floor, and end up with a sore neck looking at them.

I still use cards, because a human brain and a fistful of file cards is still the best portable computer ever created. Cards are small; thus, you escape the trap of detailing too much at story stage.

Trapping ideas is a dynamic process. Arguably, it's the most writing fun, and pays the biggest dividends when you structure your scenes.

Record all the ideas that come to mind. Get your thoughts and images down fast:

1 (First Card) November 19, 2004

"My story is about the crazy, quirky world of the guys at...

2 (Second Card) November 19, 2004

"The genre of my movie is a mix between Comedy and Caper, with the emphasis on Comedy. Might be good to throw in some physical comic scenes of.... (Etc.)

Let one idea flow into another. Take side trips. All ideas are valuable, especially spontaneous ones.

Banish your Critic:

Don't fuss over your ideas. At this stage you're a collector, not a critic. Capture your first ideas: Trap ideas immediately. Grab any means to record them. The back of an old envelope. A subway transfer. Whatever.

Feed your imagination:

Provide your imagination and your mind with your own ideas as well as with nitty gritty facts about every relevant aspect of your story idea, by researching, collecting information, organizing it, writing it down, filing it, and pondering it................................

(continued on right-hand column)

I once had a conversation with a writer who had just received a great deal of acclaim for his television mini series. When I asked him about his process, he said, "I spent a lot of time looking at the wall." He pondered.

Jot down ideas for research as you write, and follow up later; don't interrupt the brainstorming session. And be prepared to catch the ideas as they come. The old "notepad near the bed" ploy isn't a bad one.

The Linus Blanket Demon traps writers in other ways too.

WRITER: Over the past months I have been thinking of a great story in my head...

BARRY: This is the crux of your problem. Swimming is not done on the shore, and writing is not done in the head. It's done on the computer screen, or on paper with a pen or pencil.

WRITER: ...but, like all of my other screenplays, they never get completed. Not because of lack of story or structure...

BARRY: It's self-delusion that an idea in the head has story or structure. Story and structure are too large and complex to be formed and retained in the head. A work of literary art has to be constructed by writing it down and working with it onscreen or in your notebook or journal.

WRITER: ...but because I become less interested and less motivated in writing them as time goes on...

BARRY: Yes, your subconscious mind is sick and tired of you not writing down the ideas it provides you, so it shuts down.

WRITER: Can you offer any tips or advice on actually getting motivated and focused to write?

BARRY: Yes!

TIP NUMBER ONE: A writer writes.

TWO: Use 3" by 5" cards to develop your idea scene-by-scene before you start to write in script form.

THREE: Don't be afraid to write bad. Bad writing can become good writing if you re-write it enough. For instance — F. Scott Fitzgerald, one of America's most successful writers (The Great Gatsby), reported that his first novel was so bad he rewrote it 23 times from beginning to end before anyone would publish it. That first novel of Fitzgerald's wasn't a masterpiece, by the way, but The Great Gatsby was — proof of the value of writing and rewriting.

A close cousin of the Linus Blanket Demon, is the Dithering Demon.

WRITER: I have this conflict about what I want my story to be. I want it to be a screenplay because I can play it out as a movie in my head and it works really well, on the other hand I want to make the story line a series of short stories. I guess my main conflict is which way would my story be picked up faster. Eventually I would like it to be a movie, should I start out with that in mind and write it as a movie? I know often books are shredded when they become movies.

BARRY: You don't say whether or not you have written screenplays before. I suspect not.

Writing a short story or novel is like creating a sculpture.

Writing a screenplay is like crafting a fine cabinet.

Which one of those would you like to try if you had never done either before?

Like building a fine cabinet, screenplay writing is a meticulous craft, which demands predetermined structure that requires experience and precise skills. Creating a sculpture, on the other hand, is more free-form, more dependent upon raw imaginative and creative talent, and is more forgiving.

Your comment I can play it out as a movie in my head and it works really well is a danger flag. The comment reveals that you do not have a clear idea of the complexity and subtlety of the screenplay form.

I know of no successful screenwriters who can play their ideas out as movies in their head until after the screenplay is written.

My strong recommendation is that you write your book as good and true as you can, and see where that adventure takes you. It's true that often books are shredded when they become movies, but what do you think happens to screenplays?

If your book is a wonderful work of art and you don't want its creative web of fantasy to be shredded, you have the option, like J.D. Salinger, of not selling to the movies.

Ernest Hemingway, on the other hand, "took the money and ran." Who do you think was better off?

Whoever you choose, that's the writer you should emulate. Best of luck with your book.

Finally, there's the No Connections Demon. He's the one that burrows right down to your ego and delivers you excuses why you won't succeed — like "I don't travel in the right circles," or "My uncle doesn't own the studio."

One writer wanted to know how to build a career as a writer and director, and asked if the only way to get to write and direct [one's own] script was to "have it handed to you like Sofia Coppola":

BARRY: Well, being the daughter of Francis Ford Coppola likely means that from the age of two, you're immersed in the world of filmmaking, going to the sets, hearing the art of moviemaking talked about incessantly, and learning how it's done.

Certainly she had advantages, but I don't think Sophia Coppola had it handed to her. She worked at it. Some directors participate in the writing, but few are able to write a successful script all by themselves. I suggest that you pick one or the other career to develop. Decide which one you can't live without and go with that.

The answer to Where do I begin? is easy. Write things down.

How do I become a successful writer? is harder to answer.

Some say one learns to write by writing; others say one learns to write by rewriting. Still others recommend studying the craft of writing. The truth is that one must do all three things. And do them a lot. You say you've got talent. That's okay, but it's not nearly enough. It's not even a pre-requisite to becoming a successful writer.

The best advice I can recommend comes from the son of a village storekeeper, who rose to the highest office in his country:

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent." — Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the United States.

If you feel that you need a guarantee that you will be successful, you need to look within yourself. Do you have the Persistence and Determination to succeed? Come to think of it, Persistence and Determination will exorcise most of the Writing Demons that go bump in the night.

BP

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